Crash and burn...(please!)

Holy moley!
I just found the world's ugliest shoes ever. Do yo want to see 'em? Okay, but I'm warning you...they'll burn your eyes!

See, I told you so.

These hideous excuses for designer footwear are made by Louis Vuitton and can be yours for only $1,390. I'm sorry, but who would dare to buy those things? They look like sandals only a very masculine woman would wear (you know which ones I'm talking about) with a golf tees attached. Ugh! What could those possibly be worn with anyway? I literally cannot think of anything. What's with the ginormous tassel attacked to the back? It doesn't even match! The pinks don't even match! Who ever designed this should be fired. Who ever APPROVED the design should be fired!
Can you imagine anyone actually wearing these? I most certainly cannot. Not ever. Not anywhere, not on anyone.